This may come
This may come as some surprise
But I miss you

Sade, Is It a Crime

Avoided what, you say? Just about everything! Or at least it feels that way. I’ve been having a weird time lately. Lots going on (Not the good lots, I’m sorry to say. When it rains it pours!) and too many moments where I stop and think, “What on earth am I doing?” I guess it’s normal to wonder about that but surely not this often?

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been weathering the storm for so long that I’m used to the wind screaming above my head and all around my ears and now it’s quiet and I am unsettled. Like when you turn the lights off at one end of the hall and then have to sprint back to your room in the dark because surely something is coming after you. (No it’s not.)

I’ve been on a few hikes. Read a string of books that weren’t for me. Made some cream of mushroom soup. Bought new shoes. Played with my cats. Even traveled, too! But all signs point to taking time to soothe myself back into normalcy. I’m not sure how to do it. Or that I deserve to. Or that I should. “It wasn’t that bad,” I keep telling myself, “It just came down all at once! That’s all!” But I’m exhausted, isn’t that reason enough to take some R&R? But what about everything else? Isn’t resting just a convenient excuse for avoiding the things I’ve committed to doing but haven’t?

Who can say? Not me!

Fair winds and following seas,

Nopal